“kuchh aur zamana kehta hai, kuchh aur hai zidd mere dil ki
kuchh aur zamana kehta hai, kuchh aur hai zidd mere dil ki
main baat zamane ki maanu, ya baat sunu apne dil ki
kuchh aur zamana kehta hai”
These lyrics of a very old song sums up my state of mind this past week. But the day I hit the milestone of starting the 40’s I said to myself it will be sunu apne dil ki, after all, you get only one life to live.
I will be wrong to say that I have not spoken my mind, I always have and always will but at times I have kept my personal feeling to myself, but now living through these times of pandemic I thought to myself why to keep that hidden as well. So I thought to let it out on my blog.
Life has been a mix of up and downs well everyone has that so nothing new in it. But few circumstances make the difference so for me, I never lived the stereo life of a teenager. I had a wonderful childhood no doubt of it, I mean it was a fairy tale but after that, I grew up fast. It does not mean that I did not have good growing up years as that is not possible when you had a rockstar of a Mom.
What it means is that I did not experiment around I was focused on getting the stability that we had lost after loosing my father. I meet wonderful people during this journey and I think I achieved a fair deal in whatever resources I had. But like I said I was not a risk-taker either in my professional or personal life.
Then suddenly in my late 30’s the option of moving to Canada happened with inspiration from my Mentor and again my Mom pushed me to take it up or otherwise I might have played it safe and not done it. So now here 2 years later I hit the milestone of 40. As per society’s eyes, I have been a rebel and not done the contemporary things as expected especially if you are women. That is why the opening lines resonated with me so much.
Do I regret any of the moves I made and trust me I have thought about it and my answer is not at all. In fact on reaching this milestone I have this naughty urge in myself to take on the world even more ferociously and on my terms. I am a ziddi and now the dil has become ziddi so sitting today in my single room looking out of the window with the same song playing I know I will live life more on my terms, infact earlier I was not vocal about it and use to divert the attention from myself but now I say why the hell. I will do and live as I feel like.
There is still a lot to do and achieve as starting fresh in a new country on your own is not easy but then when has life been a bed of roses for me. Life has always thrown curves after curves and I for one will make a margarita with the lemons thrown at me then sulk. I will not only rise from the ashes and rebuild but this time on even complete my bucket list as I go about doing it.
I think there is still a lot of things I need to learn, improve, and experience especially with my Mom. Traveling is at the top of the list for me. Someone asked me the other day why do you like to travel why is that important? Well, the answer to it is that first of all it makes me happy, secondly, I get to experience different people, cultures, and lifestyles. These travel and interactions with people from different places have made me who I am today. I had the privilege to interact with people of different backgrounds, cultures and places in my childhood itself and I think that has given me an openness in my outlook that people of my own community tell me that I am too open and accepting or in general lingo “Too Chilled” 🙂
Another thing on my bucket list is a Canadian thing to learn that is ice skating. The reason is being people look so elegant gliding on the ice and it seems so sexy in movies lol. But I think I am in a new country so I should learn something of this place as well. I am going to try and do it this winters only fear is I have a tendency of falling so just a little afraid of that. But then decade is all about conquering the fear.
In my years gone by I never worked on my fitness much. Never had the inclination or mindset to do it but now I think I need to wake up to it. This is a natural urge to do it and this does not mean that I still want to go to a gym or cut down on my food explorations. No way food is more than a passion for me, I am a passionate foodie and that makes me happy to my core. But yes now I will find out work out regimes that interest me and will be more mindful of my body after all I intend to run a long innings with it.
Well, it seems I am rambling about things randomly but that is what I am as a person. I have a lot of thoughts going on at the same time. But the good thing I have learned from my Mom is that be in a positive mind frame and things will work out for you finally. If something happens it is good and if something else happens then even better 🙂
One thing is for sure I have never followed the path society wants me to and on this milestone, the urge to do my thing is even stronger so yes as always I will hear what my heart says and follow it without thinking what people say. They can say whatever they want I am not hurting anyone and it is my journey which I intend to complete on my terms. The win and loss is mine at least I would have done things the way I wanted to.
So here is Cheers! to a new inning where I will try and be more carefree along with doing what I plan to do without doubting myself.
